Bigfoot Presents Evidence For Existence Of Humans

MINNEAPOLIS—In a report given on Tuesday at the Center for the Search For Human Intelligence (CSEHI), Bigfoot renewed his claims that humans are real and presented photographs and artifacts that he claimed were human in origin.

"Here for the first time I present actual photographic evidence of humans together in their natural habitat," said Bigfoot during a PowerPoint demonstration, gesturing to a photograph of what he claimed were actual living humans. "As you can see, we have a family of four; the adult male and female, and two female offspring. They appear to be engaged in some sort of feeding and socialization ritual. There, you see a wicker basket containing food and drinking cups, displayed on a cloth, which suggests an understanding of design concepts and social elegance. The humans also appear well-groomed, suggesting a high level of sophistication and civility. I would also point out that the joyful facial expressions of the humans reveal a level of emotional awareness not yet seen in the wild."

Bigfoot presented further photographic evidence for humans' existence. "Here is a photograph taken from a distance of about a hundred yards of an adult male and female cooking together on the shore of Lake Superior. Subsequent investigation of the site revealed the remains of a campfire and what appears to a tent stake. There is also this," said Bigfoot, holding aloft a piece of cloth in a plastic bag. "It is an actual piece of human clothing, a shirt, with the inscription 'Radiohead" engraved on the front. These artifacts and photos represent the clearest and most convincing evidence thus far for the existence of humans."

Audience reaction to Bigfoot's claims were mixed. A few audience members reacted with "oohs" and "aahs" over the photographs, with at least two members asking to more closely examine the human shirt, a request Bigfoot denied. Others in the audience jeered at the presentation and accused Bigfoot of fabricating evidence; one person yelled "hey, nice Photoshopped pictures!" while laughing. A few audience members called Bigfoot "crazy" as they departed.